Nervous System Health is a topic I am passionate about and all what I share relates to passing on information and ideas in ways we can support it.
This week it was my turn to bring all what I share with others into self practise.
Two words that triggered a full blown reaction in my nervous system was TRUST and AUTHENTICITY. Both have immense power in creating nervous system safety to self and those around us.
What makes these two words more powerful links with what the world has experienced over the last 4 years. Like many, my eyes have become very clear to seeing systems that survive off distraction, deception, fear and consumption, and even with all the nervous system practises I have in my life, these times, at times, have brought me to my knees.
Seeing and experiencing dark times is a journey but it has immense capacity to plant a seed within the human heart to want to live in devotion to truth, and courageously create change from the soul.
For me personally my truth and courage from experiencing the dark side of 2020 allowed me to take great leaps of faith to move countries, change careers and move my youngest into home education. Despite being questioned by many and meeting faces of disbelief I’ve always felt quite protected by those I hold dear to my heart, my faith and my purpose to want to contribute to creating change.
Until this week. My trust and authenticity flashed back to 3-4 years ago when I witnessed and worked with people in health and social positions of power (with many letters after their names) hold their social face and pay checks above the health and wellness of humanity. For the first 2 years I held forgiveness to them given the power of mass psychosis and cognitive dissonance. But this last year that excuse has wained and in all honesty feels to have completely dissolved. Those still holding health positions not realising what has happened or worse still not speak their truth has eroded my trust and ability to see any authenticity.
Mis-Trust is a powerful influencer in sending the nervous system into a state of sympathetic activity by creating the sensations associated with fight or flight in the body. As you may know fight and flight are responses in the nervous system signalling danger and at any given place or time can create a sense of overwhelm in the body.
A recent meeting with a health provider activated this danger response in my body. The meeting had many positive components. There was respectful listening to each others view points and sharing of stories that were heart felt and personal. There was validation and understanding expressed. And even in my discomfort of realising their holding of ‘the narrative of 2020’ I continued to celebrate their business.
But 48 hours after our meeting a silent dismissive behaviour occurred, one of which viscerally signalled the memory of 3-4 years ago of a health authority censoring their communication to fit into ‘societal expectations’ and ‘pay check validation’ while trying to portray a desire to ‘help’ and ‘heal’ people.
My body was firing deeply and I knew the wound of mis-trust had been activated. It threw me off balance and out of rational thought. I felt anger and disbelief, began questioning how I conducted myself, held fear of disappointing others and lost rational thought to my whole being.
Somatic trauma therapy is work I love because it is all about creating a pulsation within the human organism to be able to release negative energy stored in the body. Somatically being able to safely generating a balance between contraction and relaxation of the body is the focus in all the modalities I share. However, the situation I was experiencing was saturated in intense contraction with no space for relaxation.
This contraction was intense because it hit a memory that at that time had sent my body and mind into frequent periods of overwhelm. 3-4 years ago I fought back against the system that threatened my medical registration if I were to say anything bad about the 2020 new medicine. I didn’t follow this advise and spoke my compassionate truth despite the threat of loosing my job. My profession was mandated 3 times to get the 2020 new medicine or else we would loose our jobs, I faked certificates where I could to keep food on the table and support others to do the same so they could keep their jobs. Speaking up for my children against their schools who were trying to enforce unhealthy actions that put more dangers on their mental health than the supposed danger being feared upon them led to me bringing my youngest out of school. I was fighting a sudden fight I did not see coming, in a world I had thought was free and safe. I then lost family over a period of time after the ‘devision’ virus became personal.
So the intense contraction I had this week after interacting with a health professional wasn’t because of them personally it was because it triggered a previous chronic overwhelming memory my body I had experienced.
It was contraction in a way to have to witness people holding the expectation and perception of looking a certain way for society.
It was contraction in a way of witnessing and wondering how an ‘intelligent’ health professional with letter after their name can possibly keep ‘a false narrative’ alive whilst the world has consistently now proven after 4 years 2020 to be false.
Contraction in a way of realising your path of compassionate truth isn’t a good look ‘for business’.
So I soon recognised what was happening, I was in back in 2020 with my morals, values and principles being challenged. Being pushed to my edge of what morally is right and safe over what the ‘majority’ and ‘mainstream’ are saying isn’t comfortable. I felt rage, anger and deep frustration at all the lies, deception and illusion back then and that still operates to this day. I sat uncomfortably with all the sensations I could feel, and in frustration and impatience I observed them. After the sensations had begun to subside I integrated other body based practised to release the tension. Trusting my body would arrange and integrate this experience after a period of rest I then set up a prayer to ask God for forgiveness and to send blessings to the party concerned.
My integrated conclusion: The best way to find your people is to simply exist as your most authentic self without censoring your nature to fit other people’s expectations. It’s hard and painful because there is loss and deep grief. A grief that still echos in me today. But, this grief I use as energy to courageously create from my soul. I have found the ones who stay are real, the ones who leave are not for me and the room that this creates allows new energetically matched souls to enter my life. For this exchange I am deeply grateful for and trust in the process of living in devotion to truth.
May the flow of life continue to embrace you.
Charlotte